Life's Design Moves Around White Lies
by Kali Cephirot
Summary: Five times that Kyoko lied to others; five times that Kyoko allowed others to lie to her......... ONE SHOT, FINISHED.


**life's design moves around white lies **

I.

When she was two, three years old, Kyoko spent most of the time sick. A weak constitution meant that every little bug left her for days and days in bed, feverish and coughing, doing nothing but sleeping.

And during those days when she'd lay down on her bed without being able to do anything else, Ryohei would come back full of stories that made no sense at all, but that made her laugh and feel a little better.

"And then Ultraman showed up at school, Kyoko!" Ryohei would say, bouncing on her bed. "And I fought with him and we defeated all the monsters! And he might come again, but you have to get better so that you can see him."

Mythical monsters always were out when she wasn't there to see, and Ryohei's words were almost a promise, something she liked, and Kyoko always promised that she would get better so that next time, next time she would be there when Ultraman arrived.

II.

Ryohei asks her not to cry. "I'm fine, see? Totally fine. It doesn't even hurt. No need to cry, sis."

But he's wrapped in bandages and so bruised. But he's looking at her as if he wanted her to say that it's okay, so Kyoko does, smiling.

"Because you'll be fine soon, right?" she asks, letting go of his hand so he doesn't notice how hers are shaking.

"Of course!" Ryohei says, laughing so hard that a nurse has to come to quiet down, lest his stitches don't hold.

They both pretend that she's not about to cry.

III.

With the time, it gets easier not to see when people don't want her to see. When her parents fight late at night and the next morning they're tense but smiling, trying to pretend everything's fine, what right does she have to throw their efforts away?

And Tsuna-kun. Perhaps she doesn't notice as much as she should, but she notices. She notices that sometimes he's more tired than before, and then when he hurts he always laughs a little bit shriller. She also notices how he looks stronger now, even though she doesn't think she has noticed. And now he talks, and it's nice like this, so nice. Despite the injuries, despite everything else. It's nice to play with Lambo and I-pin, and it's nice to be able to talk with Haru.

Even with the weird things that she doesn't quite see.

There are, Kyoko thinks, two kinds of lies. The lies that are told to hurt others, to mock them, to feel superior, and the ones that are told to protect others. Both are wrong, perhaps, but she thinks it's okay to forgive the second ones, at least until you're strong enough that you don't need to be protected. Meanwhile, it's probably a kindness of some sort. A cruel kindness, perhaps, not being allowed to worry properly, but a kindness none the less. And Tsuna's eyes are so anxious, begging her to believe what he says.

So Kyoko smiles and nods, even when sometimes she wants to ask why, where, how, what, why, why, why.

Lying by omission fall on the category of lies said to protect others.

IV.

Kyoko can't sleep that night, as she waits for her brother to come back from his tournament. His eyes had been the same from before when he had fought outside of his club, his voice louder, his laugh sounding a little bit fake.

So she waits, until she can't wait without doing anything so she goes to the kitchen, tidies it up despite the fact that it was already clean, and then she makes tea. Ryohei almost never drinks tea, rather having his sports drinks and milkshakes, but Kyoko still makes tea for two.

She's setting her cup on the table when she hears the door opening. She's become a master on listening to the way her brother moves, and right now he sounds hurt. She doesn't turn immediately, even when Ryohei stops at the door.

"What are you doing up this late?"

"Had a nightmare," Kyoko answers, happy when her voice doesn't tremble.

Then there's silence, as if Ryohei was trying to find his footing. Kyoko swallows around the fear and pain in her throat.

"How was your club?" Kyoko asks, and she smiles, and she manages to keep her voice without trembing.

"Oh... oh! It was extreme, Kyoko! Your big brother won! Now we're surely going to win this!"

She waits until her hands are not shaking so much to pick up his tea mug, setting it in front of her brother, and she waits for long enough that Ryohei has grown enthusiast with his story, enough that, sometimes, Kyoko is half sure that her brother believes they're the truth as well, and she says nothing at his injuries, nothing at all, her hands tightly clasped around her own cup.

V.

They're trying so hard. This older brother whose eyes sometimes grow serious, who looks as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Tsuna who comes back from training injured and exhausted. Haru who cries against her shoulder sometimes because she's scared, she wants to go home and Kyoko agrees in silence.

They are all trying so hard for her, for them to believe their lies. They all want her to look towards the other side, not to notice. Kyoko wonders what the right thing to do would be when it's something like this, when there's no right answer. Should she say 'I know something is wrong even if I don't know why we're here and I'm so scared, I want to go home'?

They're trying so hard to make everything right. Tsuna is trying so hard to make sure things will go back to what they were. And she believes him. She believes that Tsuna and everyone else will make things right and then... then she might ask. Then she'll try to find a way for them to realize that even though she's still weak, they don't have to lie to her, because she can handle the truth.

But meanwhile, she'll pretend. At the very least, she's good at that.


End file.
